all about will..

i understand that actually i can do many things in life,and i want a lot from my life.. i want to be a song writer, i want to be a coffee shop slash hang-out place owner, i want to be a single mom, i want to be a writer, and so on, and so on...

but, i also understand that none of that thing above will ever give education fees or lunch and dinner for my family.. it will only bring pleasure to me, myself and only.. that is why i do what i have to do which what i am doing now.. working like hell in a field that only GOD knows why im still on it..

and they say its all about will, when there's a will there's a way ,so they speak...
okay,let me describe to you this, if that quote is somewhere even near to right, that means i can still have chance to do what i want to do but only then im no longer young and those things doesnt seems fun anymore.. so i do get what i want but not exactly the way i wanted it to be,..

tonite, i am just imagining things, if only my life like this and like that., if only i stay in Jakarta that time and proceed with my freelances and making music life,if only i choose art of dancing instead of architecture for my major, if only this , if only that.. and it is just if only and actually none of it matters because at the end i know that i would've still choose the path that is safe,.. maybe end up in the same path.. because of the love that i have, and the mind that smart enough to think what is right to do..

nevermind, dont mind me.. this is just one of those nights, when my minds wander around to get some answer for the question that i have, and end up with no answer and only make me sleepy.. so good night people out there., have a happy life, good day and good night (that is what i always say to a taxi driver whenever i go to and off from work, its just one of my way to give spirits to myself by saying it to others)...