late birth!
back to Jakarta...
and to have a feeling of unsureness about my life and my futureand and also knowing that i'll get the answer in a few days make me feel unsafe... my heart beating so fast, and just feel dont want to have connections with anyone till i get the answer......
anyway, I never had a chance to write about my birthday... its been 24 days since, and yet i still feel like not having a birthday. Still trying to figure out what the meaning of that honour day, when 23 years ago my lovable mom give me a chance to live and to have a wonderful life. And i thankful for that, and i'm celebrating it every year for the reason that i pass another year to live.... but outside that reason, i still dont think that a birthday should've been that matter,.. it just another birthday..... rite!
But in this year, its feel a little bit bitter 4 me, not beacuse im getting older, (rite, everyone get a little bit older every same year as i do.. even a person who gets 30 or 40 in this year doesnt feel worse about their life, because they lived their life!, same as i do!) But its just because i must sent a part of me away from me... i must feel happy for him eventhough i know i will miss him very much....but as he say, he'll be gone just for coming back to me.... and i'll wait, cause i know, we're never will be apart,... 2 times i've been there done that thing, and at the end, there will always him who actually stand by my side.....
So, i left the day of my birth in year 2006 at back of my memory,nothing left of it, just a glinch of birthday song, cake, his present at 01.00 am in front of my house,.... so happy belated birthday for me.... have a nice phase on the 23rd year of your life indhi!
and to have a feeling of unsureness about my life and my futureand and also knowing that i'll get the answer in a few days make me feel unsafe... my heart beating so fast, and just feel dont want to have connections with anyone till i get the answer......
anyway, I never had a chance to write about my birthday... its been 24 days since, and yet i still feel like not having a birthday. Still trying to figure out what the meaning of that honour day, when 23 years ago my lovable mom give me a chance to live and to have a wonderful life. And i thankful for that, and i'm celebrating it every year for the reason that i pass another year to live.... but outside that reason, i still dont think that a birthday should've been that matter,.. it just another birthday..... rite!
But in this year, its feel a little bit bitter 4 me, not beacuse im getting older, (rite, everyone get a little bit older every same year as i do.. even a person who gets 30 or 40 in this year doesnt feel worse about their life, because they lived their life!, same as i do!) But its just because i must sent a part of me away from me... i must feel happy for him eventhough i know i will miss him very much....but as he say, he'll be gone just for coming back to me.... and i'll wait, cause i know, we're never will be apart,... 2 times i've been there done that thing, and at the end, there will always him who actually stand by my side.....
So, i left the day of my birth in year 2006 at back of my memory,nothing left of it, just a glinch of birthday song, cake, his present at 01.00 am in front of my house,.... so happy belated birthday for me.... have a nice phase on the 23rd year of your life indhi!
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